Youre Hogwarts Only Guidance Counselor.Can You.Wow. Another day is dawning at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the U.K.In the Great Hall, the flickering glow of a thousand enchanted candles illuminates the goblin custodians as they scrape up the absolute carpet of last nights chicken scraps, pocketing some for later.In their studies, venerable professors of enchantment and spellcraft heave sweat soaked robes over their awful bodies and quaff their morning vials of griffins blood to help with their groin problems.In the cellar, ancient stones quiver and groan as some kind of fucking demon shows up for no reason.And in the parking lot, youre having a panic attack in your car.Okay, its passing.You are Hogwarts only guidance counselor, and this happens to you every morning, because your job is a nightmare.The Hollywood Reporter is your source for breaking news about Hollywood and entertainment, including movies, TV, reviews and industry blogs.Luke Plunkett.Luke Plunkett is a Contributing Editor based in Canberra, Australia.He has written a book on cosplay, designed a game about airplanes, and also runs.Fidget Spinner is a toy.Small child is used for entertainment purpose.Thanks to unholy powers they manifested before they knew the word puberty, the magical children in your care have no emotional vocabulary and zero coping skills.Your job is to help them sort their lives out, but their eyes completely glaze over at any problem they cant zap with purple lightning.One time you attempted to tell a kid he should try exercising, and he turned your appendix into a cactus.Also you get no benefits, and sometimes they pay you in dried lizard parts.Start your day.You make your way up to your musty little office in the Hoobley Grundelthwait Memorial Spire.Its named for your predecessor, who got pulled in half when some Ravenclaws tied him to two brooms and sent them flying in opposite directions.They never found his top.On your way up, you pass a pair of students taking turns ripping each others souls partway out of their bodies and then shoving them back in, the latest school fad that the seniors claim gets you high.Their noses are both bleeding freely onto the carpet.One of the nearby enchanted paintings begs you to lick it.It takes 4.Get settled in. Finally, you toss your briefcase on the couch and sink into your desk chair.Sensing your presence, the enchanted portrait of Hoobley Grundelthwait on your wall starts back up screaming at you to tell it how he died, as it does every morning, but its blessedly muffled by the extra thick towel youve tossed over it.This half hour before your first appointments is by far the best part of your day.How will you spend it Go over your schedule.Do some magic.Do you really think youd be a guidance counselor if you were any good at magic No, unfortunately, you graduated near the bottom of your class from Mistress Salamandereaters Remedial Trade Academy for Barely Magical Androgynes, just ahead of Belial Goosehips now a rare lizard farmer and just behind Capricorn Montenegro recently got turned into a permanent baby.Torrent Lupe Fiasco Old School Love Quotes' title='Torrent Lupe Fiasco Old School Love Quotes' />Youre roughly as magical as a very lucky rooster.But because you know that magic exists, the mandatory non disclosure agreement you were forced to sign as a tiny child prohibits you from ever holding any secular job.Otherwise, youll be magically sued by the secret government andor have all your memories repossessed.That said, you do know one spell Cast your one spell.Plopam pepperonus you cry, and cast the spell that conjures a single loose nipple.With a flash and a squish, a brand new individual nipple appears over your desk and flops onto the wood with a deli sound.This one seems male, but its hard to say.Get rid of the nipple.Gingerly, you peel the nipple off your desk and put it in a drawer with the rest.No way in hell youre gonna get the reputation as the faculty member with a trash can full of nipples.At this point, youre so good at that spell, you could cast it in your sleep, and sometimes you do Youve still got a little more time before your day starts.Go over your schedule.Looks like youve got four appointments on the docket today.Four mandatory counseling sessions with hormone swollen prep school teenagers, their egos throbbing with the power of young gods. 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Age Empires Ii Conquerors Expansion Cd Crack Generals there.Who will ignore everything you say and stare at you glassy eyed as they imagine bending you to their will with sorcery, or at least blinding you.Another useless day.Pretty long lunch, though No, you know what Its time to change your life.You read a very persuasive Chipotle bag last night, and thats what it said, You must change your life.Youre tired of bunting.Today youre going to hit a home run, or do the best thing that you can do in Quidditch.Youre going to scribble the Big Screamer, or whatever.Todays the day you finally make a difference in these kids lives.Todays the day you finally break them out of their charmed autopilots and get them to seize the broom handle of their own destinies.Todays the day you finally fucking convince a single Hogwarts student to even consider going to college.Yes Its time to start living Bring on the children You whoop and holler at your desk for a while and become very lightheaded.Its been many years since the original 3DS launched.Theres a new version with better 3D, improved controls, and of course, a wealth of excellent games to play.L-9fXR9u.jpeg' alt='Torrent Lupe Fiasco Old School Love Quotes' title='Torrent Lupe Fiasco Old School Love Quotes' />Behind the towel, the enchanted painting whoops along with you.You force back the thought that it might be your one friend here.Someones knocking at the door.That must be your first appointment, Cumley Butterbreath.ENTER BEHOLD Try to magically open the door.You grit your teeth, lean forward, and focus very hard.You feel a great power moving through you, making your whole body quiver with energy.It surges upward, drawn by pure willpower.Yes Yes Finally, a huge blood vessel in your eye bursts.Some blood squirts from your eyeball over your desk and onto your carpet.The energy fizzles.The door is still closed.Come in.Hiya chirps Cumley, plopping down on one of your enchanted armchairs, the one that tells lies about Tony Blair for money.Did you know that Tony Blair once spent 6.Anyway, if you liked that, I have a Patreon with a lot of great incentives for subscribers.Definitely check it out.Tell me about yourself, Cumley.Howre you liking HogwartsWhat do you want to do with your lifeHiya chirps Cumley, plopping down on one of your enchanted armchairs, the one that tells lies about Tony Blair for money.Did you know that Tony Blair once spent 6.Anyway, if you liked that, I have a Patreon with a lot of great incentives for subscribers.Definitely check it out.Theres blood on your rug says Cumley.Tell me about yourself, Cumley.Howre you liking Hogwarts What do you want to do with your lifeOh, I absolutely love it hereHogwarts is the greatest place on earth, and everyone here is so nice I still remember, on my very first day here, a girl walked right up to me and said, Im Lucretia Ossobuco.Do you want to see how time began Then she cast a spell to open a portal to the beginning of time, where together we watched God get the idea for time from reading Sports Illustrateds annual What Time It Is issue.After that, we were fast friends, until she went through a very rapid growth spurt and got permanently wedged in one of the bathroom stalls.Tell me about yourself, Cumley.What do you want to do with your lifeOh, I dont know, Im just your average Hogwarts student Im from a small oil rig off the coast of Dunfordham On Top of Another Dunfordham.My parents sell counterfeit newspapers.My favorite class is Which Animals Is It Okay to Boil Alive in Pursuit of Sorcerer Powers with Professor Kennedy Shriver, because he makes boiling certain animals alive fun.My least favorite class is Just Two Potions with Professor Porm, because thats not enough.My best friend is a living rose bush in the school woods thats guarded by a gigantic seagull you have to trick into eating its own beak.I have a crush on Albert Mephistopheles, even though Dumbledore turned his head into a mannequin head as punishment for smelling too much like one of his dead friends.My favorite food is fettuccini alfredo eaten out of my mothers cupped hands, and my favorite spell to cast is the one that summons most of a cowboyJust like you thought, shes a stereotypical Hufflepuff.Howre you liking Hogwarts What do you want to do with your lifeThats easy I want to live deep in the woods, seduce younger men, and then shrink them down to the size of crickets and trap them in this spooky squash.Itll be sort of like a terrarium, for boys.Ill feed them corn kernels.Oh no.
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Barbie Girl Lyrics Download Free there. Last week we released Exchange Server 2010 Service Pack 1.It has received some great feedback and reviews from customers, experts, analysts, and the.Lets take a look at some mail flow basics and how to troubleshoot and resolve issues involving improper reception of incoming mails.Sometimes for a. Microsoft has just released a new tool to help administrators and users troubleshoot common issues with Office 365.The Support and Recovery Assistant for Office 365.Microsoft Lync The Address Book Server Is Experiencing Issues' title='Microsoft Lync The Address Book Server Is Experiencing Issues' />Microsoft Exchange Server 2.BIG IP v. 11 Microsoft Exchange Server 2.BIG IP v. 11 v. LTM, APM, AFMWelcome to the F5 and Microsoft Exchange 2.Use this document for guidance on configuring the BIG IP system version 1.Exchange Server 2.Mailbox servers. When configured according to the instructions in this guide, whether using an i.App template or manually, the BIG IP system performs as a reverse proxy for Exchange Mailbox servers, and also performs functions such as load balancing, compression, encryption, caching, and pre authentication.Download Deployment Guide Get the i.App Template Why F5 F5 offers a complete suite of application delivery technologies designed to provide a highly scalable, secure, and responsive Exchange deployment.The BIG IP LTM can balance load and ensure high availability across multiple Mailbox servers using a variety of load balancing methods and priority rules.Terminating HTTPS connections at the BIG IP LTM reduces CPU and memory load on Mailbox Servers, and simplifies TLSSSL certificate management for Exchange 2.The BIG IP Access Policy Manager APM, F5s high performance access and security solution, can provide pre authentication, single sign on, and secure remote access to Exchange HTTP based client access services.The BIG IP Advanced Firewall Manager AFM, F5s high performance, stateful, full proxy network firewall designed to guard data centers against incoming threats that enter the network can help secure and protect your Exchange deployment.The BIG IP LTM TCP Express feature set ensures optimal network performance for all clients and servers, regardless of operating system and version.The LTM provides content compression features which improve client performance.Products and versions.Product. Version.Microsoft Exchange Server.Exchange, see https f.BIG IP system. Manual configuration 1.App template 1. 1.BIG IP i. App templatef.Deployment Guide version.Last updated. 2. 8 See Document Revision History for revision details.Important Make sure you are using the most recent version of this deployment guide, available athttp f.For previous versions of this and other guides, see the Deployment guide Archive tab on f.Introduction. This document provides guidance for using the updated, downloadable.BIG IP i. App Template to configure the Mailbox server role of Microsoft Exchange Server, as well as instructions on how to configure the BIG IP system manually.This i. App template was developed for use with Exchange Server 2.You can configure the BIG IP system to support any combination of the following services supported by Mailbox servers Outlook Web App which includes the HTTP resources for Exchange Control Panel, Exchange Web Services, Outlook Anywhere RPC over HTTP, including the Offline Address Book, Active.Sync, Autodiscover, POP3, IMAP4, and MAPI over HTTP.For more information on the Exchange 2.For more information on the F5 devices in this guide, see http f.You can also see the BIG IP deployment guide for SMTP services at http f.You can also visit the Microsoft page of F5s online developer community, Dev.Central, for Microsoft forums, solutions, blogs and more http devcentral.Microsoft. To provide feedback on this deployment guide or other F5 solution documents, contact us at solutionsfeedbackf.What is F5 i. AppF5 i.App is a powerful set of features in the BIG IP system that provides a new way to architect application delivery in the data center.App includes a holistic, application centric view of how applications are managed and delivered inside, outside, and beyond the data center.The i. App template for Microsoft Exchange Server acts as the single point interface for building, managing, and monitoring the Exchange 2.For more information on i.App, see the White Paper F5 i.App Moving Application Delivery Beyond the Network http f.Skip ahead. If you are already familiar with the Exchange i.App, you can skip directly to the relevant section after reading the prerequisites Prerequisites and configuration notes.Use this section for important items you need to know about and plan for before you begin this deployment.Not all items will apply in all implementations, but we strongly recommend you read all of these items carefully.General BIG IP system prerequisites.For this deployment guide, the BIG IP system must be running version 1.If you are using a previous version of the BIG IP system, see the Deployment Guide index on F5.This guide does not apply to previous versions.Most of the configuration guidance in this document is performed on F5 devices. F1 2011 F1 2011 Razor . We provide a summary of Exchange configuration steps for reference only for complete information on how to deploy or configure the components of Microsoft Exchange Server, consult the appropriate Microsoft documentation.F5 cannot provide support for Microsoft products.If deploying BIG IP APM features, you must fully license and provision APM before starting the i.App template. This document provides guidance on using the Exchange i.App template. Additionally, for users familiar with the BIG IP system, there are manual configuration tables at the end of this guide.Because of the complexity of this configuration, we strongly recommend using the i.App to configure the BIG IP system.App template prerequisites and notes.This document provides guidance on using the F5 supplied Warning To run the Microsoft Exchange i.App template, you must be logged into the BIG IP system as a user that is assigned the admin role.For more information on roles on the BIG IP system, see the BIG IP User Accounts chapter of the BIG IP TMOS Concepts guide.BIG IP APM v. 12.MAPI over HTTP transport protocol introduced in Exchange 2.SP1 and included in 2.If you are using BIG IP APM v.App template does not support this new protocol.See Manually configuring MAPI over HTTP in Exchangefor manual instructions on configuring the BIG IP system for MAPI over HTTP for the 1.If you have existing, manually created Node objects on the BIG IP system and given these nodes a name, you cannot use the IP addresses for those nodes when configuring the i.App. You must first manually delete those nodes and re add them without a name, or delete the nodes and let the i.App automatically create them.For some configuration objects, such as profiles, the i.App allows you to import custom objects you created outside the template.This enables greater customization and flexibility.If you have already started the i.App template configuration and then decide to you want to create a custom profile, you can complete the rest of the template as appropriate and then re enter the template at a later time to select the custom object.Otherwise you can exit the i.App immediately, create the profile, and then restart the i.App template from the beginning.Be sure to see Troubleshooting for troubleshooting tips and important configuration changes for specific situations.SSL certificate and key prerequisites and notes.If you are using the BIG IP system to offload SSL or for SSL Bridging, we assume you have already obtained an SSL certificate and key, and it is installed on the BIG IP LTM system.To configure your Mailbox servers to support SSL offloading, you must first follow the most recent Microsoft documentation.We generally recommend that you do not re encrypt traffic between your BIG IP APM and BIG IP LTM because both BIG IP systems must process the SSL transactions.However, if you choose to re encrypt, we strongly recommend you use a valid certificate usually SAN enabled rather than the default, self signed certificate for the Client SSL profile on your BIG IP LTM system.If not re encrypting traffic, you do not need a certificate on your BIG IP LTM.This template currently only supports the use of a single DNS name and corresponding certificate and key for all services, or multiple DNS names using a SAN enabled certificate and key.If using a single virtual server for all HTTP based client access services as recommended, you must obtain the Subject Alternative Name SAN certificate or wildcard certificate, see the next paragraph and key from a 3rd party certificate authority that supports SAN certificates, and then import it onto the BIG IP system. 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Army Beat Navy Who Cares About The Other Games Welcome to the Deadspin 2.Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 2.Now, No.Army.Take a moment, Black Knights.Now that summer is fading into fall and theres less time to be outside in the sunshine enjoying the best type of games, lawn games, people are starting to think.Soak it in.Like their previous attempts to down Navy, this bunchs attempt at performing the alma mater was a mess, but considering they havent had to practice taking the lead singing role following a Navy game since their current players were in kindergarten, they can get a pass.Armys 2.Black Knights.After scraping together just 1.Midshipmen every year since the turn of the century, Army finally broke through.The Black Knights beat Navy in a wonderfully messy 2.Army fans throats, one for the win and one for the scene of Brandon Jacksons mother the Army player who was killed in a car crash last fall celebrating and speaking with the team after the victory.The latest news, views and analysis of retail in the games industry from MCV UK.Includes trading updates, as well as essential and current information and events.Dont pretend like youve never wondered what human flesh tastes like.The Black Knights went on to attend and win their first bowl game since 2.Although theyve struggled in the past to successfully construct anything resembling a winning programnot due to a lack of effort, some horny recruits might addlooking at what the Black Knights bring to the table this year should be enough to convince everyone from plebes to their hating ass commander in chief that Army is ready to play some high quality football.Virtual Dj Pro V7 0 3 Cracked Pc Games more.Army fought off a second half comeback in order to beat Navy for the first time since 2.Read more Read.Unlike this years Air Force team, which is tasked with replacing the majority of a top 2.Army gets the pleasure of welcoming back nearly all of its key 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deep threat Edgar Poe lost to graduation, Army will need to get it together in the passing game, at least a little bit, if it doesnt want to keep getting screwed every time it lines up for third down.The offensive line rocks four starting seniors, all of whom earned experience last season thanks to a slew of injuries that forced nearly every returning linemen into action at some point.Life will only get better for the teams two stud fullbacks, Andy Davidson and Darnell Woolfolk.The juniors will once again share the fullback slot after a year in which they combined for 1,5.Davidson, a 6 foot 2, 2.Woolfolk got the better of him in last weekends win against the Rams.The fullbacks will be joined by slotbacks Jordan Asberry and John Trainor, as well as a crew of underclassmen who should see limited time this year.For the 2.Batemans squad held opponents to 1.Now, Armys out on the recruiting trail snagging three star players all the while, the Black Knights are developing a blossoming group of linebacker gems they discovered the past couple years.Replacing Jeremy Timpf and Andrew King will be a tall order for Bateman, but the third year coach will have seven other starters from last years bunch, including returning starting linebackers Alex Aukerman and Kenneth Brinson, as well as junior James Nachtigal.As long as injuries dont plague the entire defense the way they did last years secondary, the 2.Armys defense will do just fine.The line welcomes back senior end John Voit, senior nose guard Andrew Mc.Lean, and junior nose tackle Wunmi Oyetuga, none of whom are exceptionally disruptive but figure to do their job well enough for one of the four linebackers to clean up.The most youthful group, the secondary will look to a pair of sophomores in corner Elijah Riley, who started as a rookie last season, and safety Jaylon Mc.Clinton to play above their experience, while Jalen Sharp, Gibby Gibson, and Rhyan England work their ways through the remaining slots in the rotation.A Guy To Know.As far as college independents go, Ahmad Bradshaws about as fun as it gets.Now a senior, Bradshaws been helming the offense since 2.The following year, those numbers would get a nice little bump, as Bradshaw, with a couple studs sharing the backfield, ran for 8.Hes got a whip of an arm that allows him to take and take a handful of midrange 1.Lucky for him, Armys offense doesnt often require him to collect chunks of yards with his arm.Bradshaw has enough power to burst through the first two levels, and the moves to navigate through the tight spaces that the triple option affords runners.When hes dishing it out, hes quick on the pitch and, passing aside, makes smart decisions with the ball.Hes not going to go down as the next flexbone great, but if he continues the pace he started three years ago, he could end his career as the first Army quarterback with a winning streak against Navy since the year he was born.Thats something.Can They Make The Playoff Army cannot make the playoff, because the Black Knights play a weak schedule and have no conference championship game that can propel them out of a weak division and into the selection committees purview.That said, this team can challenge every single team on its schedule, minus Ohio State, and has the returning experience and talent to not only go back to a bowl game, but to possibly inch itself into the national scene by winning nine ordare I say1.Seven or eight wins is far more realistic, though.Is The Coach A Dick I dont think head coach Jeff Monken has done anything that would earn him being called a dickhe took the rap for getting recruits liquored up, but considering that took place a month into his gig, Im not convinced thats solely on him.He should avoid talking Jesus in the locker room, but with that as his biggest offense, the jury doesnt have enough evidence to convict this man of being a dick.Of course, if Im wrong, let me know.Schedule.Sept. 1 Fordham Sept.Buffalo Sept.Ohio State Sept.Tulane 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